What you won’t see in “Act of Valor”

For all it’s intents and purposes, Act of Valor is a well crafted action film with a secondary recruitment video feel to it. The action sequences work, and unlike the film Navy Seals starring Charlie Sheen and Michael Bein, it doesn’t try to overly dramaticize itself for the sake of story. Act of Valor is about the men themselves, and what they may or may not be doing in order to protect the U.S.

Although this is purported to be an accurate portrayal of Navy Spec Ops, here’s what you won’t see in the film. So those wanting a peak behind the curtain, you’re out of luck:

1. HALO formation and deployment in the sky. HAHO also not shown.

2. How they get rid of excess gear at ingress.

3. How they get rid of gear at egress (when weight can become a concern of escape).

4. The formation of squads that breach a room and how they position themselves in a kill box.

5. How they are able to travel underwater without scuba gear.

6. How they pilot an underwater submersible.

7. How they group together while traveling in murky underwater swamps.

8. The method they use for attacking multiple watercraft.

9. What types of weapons they use for different missions.

10. What kind of comms and relay gear they use when talking with SOCOM.

11. SOCOM or JSOC operations not shown or mentioned.

12. How to hide bodies of enemies after you’ve killed them.

This is just a brief list, but I’m sure anyone working as an Operator probably has a waaaaay longer set of things and probably would laugh at what I missed…;)

Things I’m Coming Obsessed About: Feb. 21, 2012

1. Adele — I bought both her albums at Best Buy the other day with enough gift card credit to make it a free treat, and I even have her album playing in the background as I’m banging out this draft. I mean, how much Adele is too much? I mean, she sings, she swears, she has a crazy sense of humor — she is an awesome ball of, er, awesomeness.

2. Kate Upton — my god, she’s only 19 something, and she is UTTERLY GORGEOUS! I mean, I thought it was just hype, but she is the real deal. And she looks AMAZING in a bikini, or a dress, or whatever. And those that have objections about her tweets and her risque’ pics — of course she’s gonna post crazy ass status updates: She’s still just a KID! She’s gonna be doing crazy stuff for a long time to come.

3. Downton Abbey — Granted, I saw all the Series 2 stuff already, but scanning it again on PBS keeps reminding that this is period drama on crack for me. Bates and Anna, Matthew and Mary, I mean, take your pick, there’s something for everyone upstairs and downstairs and everything in between. It’s almost like methodone for me until Mad Men comes back on the air in about a month or so…

Observations on President’s Day: 2/20/12

1. Watching kids eat in their own little food court dining area with their tiny tables and tiny chairs is pretty cute. But with their parents sitting in the same tiny chairs looks like pure torture. Goodbye knees, you never needed them anyway.

2. Buying Adele’s CDs and then ripping them into my computer and finally laying them into my iDevices officially means that I am really, really fucking old. Or, stuck in 2003.

3. While at Target, I noticed that Ottomans are getting bigger and becoming giant storage bins. Are Ottomans the “new” couch? Must investigate further…;)

What I learned at Dim Sum brunch: Feb 19, 2012

1. The ladies with the push carts have changed from speaking Chinese to broken English, in order to be more consumer-friendly. This seriously SPOOKS me out.

2. My father likes brewing his own tea nowadays. Of course, this makes us unique. But in reality, it means we’ve become douche dim-sum assholes.

3. Let’s dispel the mystery — the stamps they put on your bill is absolutely meaningless. If you’re anything but Chinese, you’re going to be paying 30% more on your bill than I ever will…;)

What I learned today: Feb. 18, 2012

1. Talking myself out of seeing “This Means War” is probably the best decision I made all week.

2. Sometimes a Chinese person really can make breaded eggplant like an Italian mother.

3. Sharing a midnight snack of leftover chicken tenders with my dad is about as surreal as it gets…;)

What I learned today: Feb. 17, 2012

1. Learning to say no to overtime is not the end of the world. More rest is better than going postal on Monday…

2. Eating a whole lot of Shwarma anything is going to give you a major food coma.

3. Watching a funeral memorial online on a live stream might not be like going to one, but it’s getting pretty damn close…;)

What I Learned This Morning: 2/16/12

1. Drinking grapefruit juice with Splenda, albeit less tart, still sucks.
2. Never leave McDonald’s leftovers you want to eat later in the fridge — your dad will raid it later in the middle of the night like a hungry wolf.
3. I know I’m getting old since I can now relate my dental work to my folks’…